


seeking torpordity

by Rag



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Domestic Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Insomnia, Mild Sexual Content, Multi, Nightmares, Pesterlog(s) (Homestuck), Polyamory, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Tooth-Rotting Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-01
Updated: 2018-04-01
Packaged: 2019-04-16 14:18:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,829
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14166714
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rag/pseuds/Rag
Summary: dave goes away on a business trip, karkat's insomnia rears its ugly head in a big way, and jade does her best to help. theyre all puppy love dipshits





	seeking torpordity

**Author's Note:**

  * For [circumlocute](https://archiveofourown.org/users/circumlocute/gifts).



> for circumlocute  
> :y   
> you rock i hope you like this!!!
> 
>  
> 
> cws: karakt vaguely awkwardly flirts with vriska for a hot second, theres some suggestive jadedave towards the end

Dave is away on business. Dave is away, on business. Jade has a hard time stringing all those words together. Dave, is away, on business. None of them really fit together. Especially not in this universe, after the game. How does _business_ exist. How is there a booming human-carapacian movie business, and _why_ is it on the _other side of the world_.

It’s just a week, just to learn “how the butter gets made,” which Jade is pretty sure not how the saying goes. And maybe he’ll make a few trips out there in the future, brush up on some stuff that he can’t learn at home, because _ugh_ apparently not everything is on the internet, what the fuck is up with that. But it’s the first time he’s going to be away for more than a few days, and the three of them made a pact to not be huge weird saps about it. But they’re still going to keep in touch every day.

The first day is normal, if a little sad. Jade goes to the volunteer new-god city planning group, and mostly fights with Vriska about the necessity of actually learning about the ecosystem before they start building absolutely what the fuck ever they want. She thinks she wins the argument. She’s right, in any case. You _can’t_ just start putting buildings up willy-nilly and depend on your super-duper magical lucky powers to make everything work! Science exists for a reason and the reason is using facts to try to ensure the best possible outcome and Vriska just doesn’t understand.

The house is eerily quiet. Dave is usually here at this time of day, and no one greeted her when she opened the door and it wasn’t because he was taking a nap in the bedroom and it’s just sad.

Karkat comes home a little while later, like he usually does. Karkat and Sollux and Dirk and Roxy and Jade can’t remember who else all made this little coding braintrust and get together to make the internet bigger and better and weirder. She knows a little bit, enough to kind of understand it, but she gets lost kind of fast when he starts going into detail. Dave does, too. Explaining their jobs - they have jobs, it’s the weirdest thing? they don’t get paid but it’s kind of their duty as the gods of this universe and it’s pretty fun and keeps them busy and honestly none of them like to think too seriously about it because it kind of freaks them out - is something that can kill hours together.

Jade’s welcome home hug is maybe a little tighter than usual, but they try not to be too weird about the Dave-shaped elephant in the room. It’s just a week! It’s just for business! And he’s absolutely texting both of them nonstop whenever he’s not actively filming. Jade is pretty sure he texts them when he’s supposed to be doing something else, too. She’s gotten a few

TG: fuck brb

and she can read between the lines there.

But things are normal. As expected. It’s the first time since the three of them started dating that any of them had to be away for more than a day, and honestly some very silly little part of her kind of worried that the world was going to explode the second Dave walked out the door, but rationally she knew everything would be fine.

Karkat makes her dinner, and the two of them hang out in the living room that night. They take it easy. Karkat convinces her to play this exceptionally nerdy online roleplaying battle game that’s mostly populated by trolls, in both senses of the word.

Conversation drops off a little more than usual, and Jade gets tired of _not_ saying anything about it.

“He’ll be back in a week.”

Karkat scowls. “I know.”

“Were you two… is this, like, the first time the two of you have been apart this long, too?”

Karkat looks like he’s going to say something really snappy and then stops. It’s so cute how he does that for her. Dave, too. She hears how they talk to each other, and she hears how they talk to her, she knows they ramp it down for her a lot of the time. She’s told them before to not bother. She’s a grown-ass woman _and_ a fucking god, she can take it and dish it right back.

_I know you can, babe, but I can’t. It’s like going ham on a puppy. You can’t do it._

_Are you saying I’m a puppy?_

_I mean. Well. Is it polite or a faux pas to dance around the obvious-_

_Dave!_

_The hottest puppy in the universe, babe. Like, a super fucking sexy puppy, not in a weird way._

And it would have been hard to do worse than that, but Karkat’s response was barely better, with all his _I know I **can** , but I just don’t want to. You’re too cute. It’s weird._

It’s fine. It’s cute. If they treated her with kid gloves _all_ the time, she’d have a shitfit, but it’s just a little, and it’s just some of the time, so it’s just one of the hundred things she finds adorable about them.

“Yeah,” he says. “Where the hell would we have gone? We were stuck on that fucking rock the entire time. And we were only on Earth for a few months before you moved in.”

“So this is probably really hard for you, isn’t it?” Jade asks quietly.

“No. It’s fine. We’re functioning adults and we can spend a week apart without disintegrating of heartbreak. How _dare_ you imply any differently,” he says, completely deadpan.

“You know, you’ve kind of looked like someone took a dump in your coffee since you walked in the door.”

“And you look like someone who’s pissing off the healer.”

“Oh! No! Fuck! I mean, of course you’re _totally_ fine with everything because you’re a functioning full-grown grub or whatever. Heal me?”

“Is the rez walk back to your body that fun for you?”

“Karkat! Come on!”

“Fine.”

“Thank you! I love you!”

“You just love my Chant of Healing.”

“That’s one of many things I love about you.”

*

Eventually Jade gets ready for bed. She goes to sleep earlier than Karkat, because Karkat and most of the people he works with are basically nocturnal. Weirdos. She kisses him on the cheek, showers off, and gets tucks in for the night. But first…

GG: what are you doing?

TG: staring at the tv blankly, ruing my decisions

TG: thank you for saving me from that

GG: gladly!

TG: what are you doing

GG: going to bed. soon. later

TG: oh shit dont let me keep you up

GG: youre not!

GG: karkat misses you so much, its cute

TG: just karkat

GG: no, dumbass :p

TG: babe youre too sweet

TG: did i tell you about the sound stage guy it was the wildest shit

GG: no omg what happened?

*

Jade is a sound sleeper, and she doesn’t hear Karkat come to bed. But she does hear him whimpering. She wakes up and sees him twitching a little, making little sounds. Her heart sinks. This sucks. All of them get a more than their share of nightmares these days, but Karkat and Dave seem to get them every other day.

“Karkat?” she says softly.

“Nn.”

“Karkat, wake up.” She doesn’t touch him on the off chance that he accidentally punches her. Trolls pack a wallop and he would feel terrible.

He starts to shift, and then opens his eyes.

“I think you were having a nightmare?” she says.

He blinks. “Oh. Yeah.” He sits up. He looks at Jade uncomfortably.

“Do you want to talk-“

He hugs her. “No.”

She hugs him back. “Okay.”

He holds her for a long time, then lets go.

“Let’s go back to sleep. I’m fine.”

“Okay.”

Jade lays down, a little closer to Karkat this time. She scoots close enough that their backs are touching, and the little pocket of warmth radiates between the place where their skin touches. And she’s tired enough that she falls asleep before she knows it.

And then she wakes up to the same sound. _Oh, no, Karkat…_

“Karkat, hun, wake up.”

She talks to him a little more. He shakes awake.

“Fuck. This is embarrassing. Waking you up with my stupid fucking dream _twice_ now.”

She holds his hand. “It’s fine.”

But it’s not super fine, and the third time it happens he looks devastated and takes his pillow and a blanket and says he’s going to sleep on the couch to save Jade from his horseshit any longer, because she actually has to wake up at a normal hour tomorrow and he’s not going to hear her arguments. He gives her a little kiss before he goes, and apologizes again, and refuses to accept Jade’s protests.

Jade sleeps pretty badly, too, then. But at least she gets a few hours in. She wakes up groggy to her alarm cheerily, mercilessly blaring out of her cell phone and snoozes it twice before even rolling over.

Karkat is on his computer when she stumbles into the kitchen. Jade knows the answer, but she asks anyways.

“Did you sleep at all last night?”

He pauses his game and gives her a thousand-yard stare. He’s playing one of those football games that Jade will never understand the appeal of. Jade wonders how long he’s been batting his players back and forth across the screen.

“Fuck sleep. Sleep is pointless. Do you know how much time we waste on sleep? A third of our lives. A _third,_ Jade. Insomnia isn’t a disease. It’s a cure. It’s one of several mutations I have and I’ve developed it to save the universe.”

“Yeah, that sounds real and not fake at all.”

“Because it is. I made coffee if you want some.”

“Thanks!” Jade says, and tries not to be too worried. Sometimes he just can’t sleep. It happens. It sucks but it happens, and he’s dealt with it his whole life. She pours herself a cup of coffee, and then makes one for him, with tons of sugar, how he likes it. She sets it down on his desk and kisses his temple.

“Taking a sick day?”

“No. I’ll head out later.” He pauses his game again and looks up. She kisses him and he smiles a little. “Bye.”

“Bye.”

*

Dave texts her at work again. A ton. Maybe more than yesterday. He absolutely shits up and down their group chat constantly. She’s being a responsible adult, and every time she opens her phone there’s 50 new messages from him and Karkat just bouncing off each other.

GG: dont you guys have jobs!

TG: whats a job i just watch people make movies so I can direct garbage

GG: gourmet garbage! and you need to be watching so you can learn how to cook it up yourself!

TG: im double tasking

CG: TO ANSWER YOUR QUESTION, NO, JADE, I DO NOT HAVE A JOB.

CG: I VOLUNTEER MY EXPERT ABILITIES AT WILL AND WHIM. I AM AND HAVE ALWAYS BEEN A CAPRICIOUS GOD.

CG: AND MY WHIMS CURRENTLY LEAD ME TO, HOW DO YOU SAY IT, SHOOT THE SHIT, WITH DAVE.

CG: AND YOU, IF YOU’RE WILLING TO GET OFF YOUR HIGH HORSE AND JOIN US?

GG: im not on a high horse! im just putting the needs of the citizens first, like a responsible god.

TG: what

TG: sorry please repeat that i couldnt hear you

TG: that horse is so tall your voice literally gets lost into the far reaches of space

CG: HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU THAT’S NOT WHAT LITERALLY MEANS.

TG: it literally is though

GG: dave how are you not getting in trouble right now

TG: amateur director privilege babe i can do whatever i want

GG: is that how that works? arent you an apprentice?

TG: well

TG: yeah but ill be a director someday so now i can do whatever because everyone wants to get on my good side

TG: that way i wont make them wear like whipped cream merkins for the sake of art

GG: ew!!!!!! dave no thats a health hazard! youd get sued!

GG: also that sounds incredibly fake and its definitely not whats happening right now!!

TG: yeah no dw

TG: its just something im batting around the old idea cage

CG: BAT IT INTO THE FUCKING GARBAGE, YOU SHIT-SHOVELING CRETIN.

CG: DON’T YOU *DARE* BE ONE OF *THOSE* DIRECTORS.

TG: fuck br

CG: SO MUCH FOR AMATUER DIRECTOR PRIVILEGE.

CG: I’M SURPRISED VRISKA ISN’T BREATHING DOWN YOUR NECK RIGHT NOW ABOUT TEXTING DURING YOUR SUPER CRITICALLY IMPORTANT JOB MEETING.

GG: no shes

GG: fuck g2g

CG: UGH

CG: TELL HER TO GO FUCK HERSELF FOR ME

CG: WAIT DON’T TELL HER THAT

CG: JADE DON’T TELL HER THAT

CG: TELL HER THAT IF SHE WASN’T RUNNING HER FUCKING GAB ABOUT EVERYONE ELSE’S BUSINESS ALL THE FUCKING TIME THAT MAYBE SHE WOULDN’T STILL BE STUCK ON PHASE 1 OF THE CITY PLANNING.

CG: TELL HER THAT MAYBE SHE WOULD REALIZE THERE’S THIS THING CALLED BREATHING THAT HELPS OXYGENATE THE BLOOD AND ALLOW FOR FUNCTIONING THOUGHT, AND SHE SHOULD TRY IT.

GG: karkat, oh my god, no!!!

GG: shes annoying enough without starting a proxy war between the two of you through me :////

CG: OKAY FINE

CG: BUT THINK IT REALLY HARD IN YOUR MIND AND MAYBE SHE’LL FEEL BAD THROUGH READING THE PSYCHIC WAVELENGTHS

GG: :///////////////////

TG: haha is karkat totally-definitely-not spades flirting with vriska again

CG: EXCUSE ME?!

CG: I HAVE ***NEVER*** SPADES FLIRTED WITH VRISKA AND I HAVE ABSOLUTELY ***NO*** INTENTION OF STARTING TODAY

GG: oh my god

*

Jade was hoping that tonight would be better for Karkat. Sometimes it only lasts one night. Sometimes he has one sleepless night, and then he’ll sleep a little better the next night. And sometimes the cycle would repeat for a few days, but it tended to calm down after that.

Not this time. Karkat wakes up with a nightmare and immediately takes the couch. He apologizes fervently.

“Karkat, it’s fine. Don’t worry.”

“It’s not, it’s fucking ridiculous. I’m so fucking sorry. Dave leaves for one fucking week and I just.” He stops, shakes his head, like he thinks it’s too stupid to say. “Like a fucking wriggler,” he mumbles.

“You what?”

“I’m just used to having you both here, or something, I don’t fucking know. It’s hard to sleep without him. I’m so fucking tired, fuck.”

“Aw, Karkat-“

“Don’t pity me, it’s disgusting.”

“It’s not, come on,” she says. She squeezes his hand. “Maybe we could call him? And hearing his voice would help.” Jade actually really hopes he takes her up on that. It’s only been a few days, but she misses _talking_ to him. She should call him tomorrow, regardless.

“No, no. He has shit to do, and I’m not waking him up for this bullshit.” He rubs some crust out of his eyes and gathers up his things. “Love you, ‘night.”

“Love you. Come back to bed if you want to.”

“Okay,” he says blankly.

Jade knows he won’t. She feels terrible about it, but she doesn’t know how to change his mind, and she’s really tired. She goes back to sleep.

She has a nightmare, one where she’s looking around the world for something but it’s all empty, and there’s nothing and no one and it’s just empty blank earth for miles. And when she wakes up, Karkat isn’t there, and her gut wrenches. She gets up and goes to the bathroom, walking as quietly as she can, to shake the feeling of the dream off before she tries going back to bed. She hears the clicking of a keyboard coming from the living room, again.

And on her way back to her bedroom, where she’ll try and fail to sleep better than horribly all night, she decides, fuck it. She heads into the living room.

Karkat looks at her blearily.

“Can I join you?”

“You can’t sleep?” he asks.

“Nope!”

He hands her a controller, saves his game, and puts it in multiplayer.

*

Jade wakes up on the couch with a blanket and a pillow under her head. The living room is empty. Her phone alarm is ringing from the other room.

When she goes to get it, she sees Karkat sitting on the bed, staring blankly at her phone. Delayed, he turns to look at her. His eyes look through her, past her, at nothing.

“It’s ringing.”

“Oh my god. Karkat, are you okay?”

“I’m perfect. I’m the picture of perfect health. Can you please silence that thing before I crush it with a hammer.”

“Oh, yeah.”

“Don’t worry about me,” Karkat says drearily, as if that was something she could just _do_ when he sounds like _that_ , “I have to stay home anyways. And catch up. On my soaps.”

Jade leaves it be. He doesn’t look like he’ll make it another hour without passing out. She gives him a kiss, tells him to let her know if she can get him anything (he won’t, he’s impossibly stubborn, she’ll get him some tea anyways) and heads out.

*

Any hopes that Karkat might be sleeping are quickly dashed by his persistent responses to the group chat. He liveblogs his soaps. He sends screenshots of the dumbest things and tells Dave to incorporate this or that element into his movie.

Jade considers waiting out another four days of this, until Dave gets home, and promptly rejects it. If there’s anything she can do to help, she’s going to do it.

GG: dave help

TG: whats wrong

GG: karkat isnt sleeping

TG: oh shit thats acting up

TG: that makes total sense i thought he sounded weird as hell in the chat today

GG: yeah

GG: does this happen a lot? its been three days.

GG: THREE DAYS and hes slept like three HOURS

TG: oh fuck yeah it hasnt been that bad in years

TG: aw man poor dude

GG: yeah :(

GG: what did you used to do? all those years ago?

TG: i dunno fuck uh

TG: oh no i got it

TG: so you know about the sopor shit right

GG: yeah

TG: give that fucker a warm bath

TG: watch him and make sure he doesn’t fall asleep in it or anything like that because fuck knows hes not in a state to watch his own back right now

TG: pavlovs his brain into thinking its sleepytime

GG: oooooh great idea!!!

TG: also hes gotta be so fucking tired at this point that any nudge in that direction will probably send him rocketing into the land of slumber

TG: also x2 dont let him know thats what youre doing though hell probably get all self defeating and weird about it

GG: yes im aware :\ hes so much worse than usual

TG: yeah that happens when hes fucked up

TG: it kills

TG: fuck poor dude

GG: i know i feel so awful for him

GG: and

GG: well

GG: i have some techniques i could employ to make a bath more …… appealing ;)

TG: what

TG: oh

TG: holy shit jade dont tell me this shit when im stuck at a shoot in fresno

GG: ooops ;)

TG: or tell me all about it in excessive detail

TG: actually that one yeah tell me about it in detail

TG: pls

GG: dave im literally at work and so are you

TG: oh

TG: yes

TG: so we are

TG: arent we just all kinds of fucked up

TG: yeah no wait until later

TG: fuck im so tired whats wrong with me

GG: oh my god, you too?

TG: what can i say sleeping is hard as fuck without you guys

GG: oh my god

GG: this is so stupid why are we so bad at this!!!

TG: yeah i mean first time sucks the worst but uh

TG: we seem especially, unusually bad at it dont we

GG: you should come home and sleep

TG: babe dont tempt me i cant

GG: :(

TG: oh no not the puppy eyes fuck

TG: i really cant it sucks

GG: i know sorry

GG: i miss you

TG: yeah you too

GG: i should get back to work

TG: yeah me too i guesssssss

TG: good luck though tell him i love him when you see him

TG: shit i can just tell him that

TG: ok i told him

GG: <3

TG: >3

TG: fuck

TG: <3

Jade sets the group chat to silent so that she can actually focus on her planning. And then she hunkers down and gets shit done.

When Jade gets home, Karkat isn’t in the living room. Hoping against hope, she closes the door quietly, and then quietly, quietly creeps into her bedroom.

And she finds Karkat passed out on the bed. His laptop is open on the desk and he’s splayed out horizontally across the mattress, his head propped under his arm. She gently creeps back out of the room, back into the living room, sits down at the couch and smiles.

She takes out her phone and texts Dave.

TG: oh thank god

TG: fuck good for him

TG: im a little disappointed you guys didn’t get to take a bath together

TG: go ahead and tell me about what might have happened if you did though like just use your imagination

GG: well

GG: honestly

GG: i think i get him into the tub and … you know

TG: no i have no idea what do you do

TG: tell me all about it

GG: :p

GG: the point is that he doesnt get it up because he hasnt slept in three days

TG: oh

TG: hm

TG: i mean yeah probably

TG: how about an alternate reality where he does get it up though what then

GG: in an alternate reality?

TG: yeah god knows theres enough of them, it probably exists

GG: then lets go with the one where youre also in the tub, and the tub can fit all three of us somehow, because magic

TG: oh shit yes

TG: on board for this shit so hard im getting ejected from the plane

GG: ok

GG: ok listen to my story

TG: im entirely made up of ears babe. im kind of hard to look at. help me oh god im just ears how am i typing

GG: dave

TG: please continue

GG: ok

GG: well

*

Jade sleeps on the couch that night. The blanket and pillow are still out here from the night before. She texted Dave a gratuitous few hours and the two of them vowed to chill tomorrow. She goes to sleep with a smile. Just a few more days. She can’t wait to see him again.


End file.
